BACK TO NEWSLETTER 2003 CONTENTS
What is it about the Clayesmore Cormorants Cricket XI? Women love them and men want to be them, or at least that's what Nick Goumas told us it used to be like. There is little doubt that febrile exultation ripples through Dorset in mid-July as the annual cricket week gets underway. And in 2003, even the weather got seriously over-excited, with the week starting in melanoma-inducing heat at Canford.
Your correspondent had the singular honour of captaining this first game, always a key one because the only good Canfordian is a thoroughly thrashed one. Mind you, they looked thrashed before the game started; at least the ones who turned up did... (In a startling break with amateur cricketing tradition the Cormorants had a full side ready to play comfortably - i.e. 5 minutes or so before start time, except for the obligatory I'm-stuck-in-traffic-meaning-he-hasn't-left-Stalbridge-yet delayed Dike.) The membership of the Cygnets team changes more slowly than the occupancy of plinths in Trafalgar Square, whereas the Cormorants team this year was an intoxicating brew (and more of those later) of age and experience, youth and vitality, talent and enthusiasm (some of the best spin seen all week).
Once the captain had eased Canford into a false sense of security with six overs of moderately propelled pies, the Cormorants got down to the serious business of winning. Confident and sustained aggression in the field backed up some excellent bowling, particularly from Andy Dike who took 4-73. This Dike is a man who scents out cricketing opportunity and ruthlessly exploits it. No sooner had a moderately precocious Canfordian batsman removed his helmet than our man Andy put in a vicious top-spinner that the young lad obligingly swept into his head, and then paid a day-long visit to casualty. Bob Lack also picked up a couple of cheap wickets and Canford were all out for 188. The calm and capable Cormorants reply of 192-3 was built around a deceptively accumulative 61* from Dan Rimmer and an accomplished and continually accelerating 76* from Alex Morgan. Victory accomplished we repaired to the Cygnets' local, The Coach & Horses in Wimborne, to gloat for a bit, before heading back to The Talbot and the familiar comforts of Badger Best and cheesy chips. Always important to recharge one's system after a day's exertions.
Deep down in the psyche of a Cormorant is the vital ingredient that gives meaning to his outwardly conventional life is the raw desire to destroy Bryanston. And if this cannot be achieved, beating them at cricket is an excellent substitute. This year we entertained Bryanston at home and had one of the best matches of recent years. Batting first, only the Butterflies Guy Bucknall with 63 was able to mount a sustained challenge, despite a very talented batting order. The superb Andy Dike, whose guile and considerable turn were simply too much for Bryanston, dominated the Cormorant's bowling. He finished with 8-74 and Bryanston reached only 188 all out. Victory was achieved for the loss of five wickets, Bob Lack scoring 54 and Tom Hicks 59.
The social side of Cormorants week was in fine fettle in 2003. Mention must be made of the irrepressible Tom Hicks, whose role of fines master brought tears and laughter to each evening at the happily revitalised Talbot. A particular favourite was Tristan Deighton being fined for wearing so much Ralph Lauren clothing that he looked as though he was sponsored by them, and also being fined every day for looking like his brother! (Many people argue that there is no censure harsh enough for this offence).
Despite being roundly beaten on the Tuesday, Bryanston were kind enough to invite us to their 50th Anniversary Dinner. This was an excellent evening of good food, good drink and very good company. Many of the speeches were chock-full of reminiscences that meant little to non-Butterflies but it was hard not to be swept along with all the bonhomie. By the way, just who was Bufty anyway?
Wednesday had seen the end of the simmering heat, replaced by biblical quantities of rain. At the start of the day it seemed certain that Thursday's game would be cancelled but the rain stopped and the strong wind did it's sweet work so that the ground was dry enough for play to start after lunch. A 40 overs game was agreed with new opponents, the touring side North Mymms. Unfortunately, not only were they new but also very talented. A succession of their batsmen biffed plucky Cormorant bowling into various parts of North Dorset, propelling them to 246-8. Alex Morgan and Bob Lack both took two wickets each. Despite four batsmen scoring 30s (T Hicks 38, G Hicks 30, A Dike 34 and T Morgan 35*), the Cormorants fell short, reaching 179-8.
Friday brought the traditional fixture against the Dorset Rangers. As is also traditional it brought the aching limbs, loss of suppleness, rheumy eyes, headaches and pale pallor that comes from days of Badger Best, roistering and low-sleep nights partying in Devine - oh yes, and relentless exertion in the pursuit of cricketing excellence! However, there was enough left in the tank to pull off a thumping victory. Batting first Richard Gulliver took the bowling by the scruff of the neck and drove, cut and pulled his way to a fine 101. Guy Hicks added a 52 to his week's all-round achievements, and Alex Morgan a classy 44. The Rangers never really looked in the hunt, especially after the loss of their first three wickets. (Your correspondent would like it noted, as a matter of public record, that he did indeed bowl Ned Lack with a genuine swinging yorker - one in 27 years isn't bad!) Two wickets each for Andy Dike and Terry Morgan, and some excellent fielding, particularly from Tristan Deighton, hastened Rangers to their 146-run defeat.
The Cormorants Dinner at the Cricketers in Shroton was a highly enjoyable affair and an enjoyable way to round off an excellent and successful week - a week that demonstrated that the Clayesmore Cormorants are in rude health. (Admittedly some squad members tend to specialise in the former rather than both...) My fellow players and I would like to express our thanks to Andrew Beaton, Nick Goumas and Andy Dike for all the work they do to make the week possible - work that is mainly done behind the scenes and is largely unsung. And if you find yourself mooching around Dorset in the third week of July next year with time to kill, please come along to a Cormorants match: the heady brew of cricket, drinking, shouting, bad clothes and dodgy hairstyles (and Martin Blant thought he wasn't going to get a mention!) is simply too good to miss.
Alastair Deighton (89 - 94)
Clayesmore Cormorants Secretary