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Obituaries 1998
Lois Wainwright (2)
Lois Wainwright was a great supporter of Clayesmore in so many ways, not least her frequent participation Society events and her regular attendance at Chapel Services.
While enjoying a stroll up Hambledon with friends* on a sunny summer Sunday afternoon back the late fifties (or early sixties), through a newly mown hay field, we found a gigantic length of chain that could easily have been made for the Queen Mary's anchor. Although we were all seniors or prefects we were young enough to still enjoy a lavatorial sense of humour. The chain was too heavy to carry back to school, but we were not too far from "The Lines" (the home of Lois Wainwright, who was a great friend of Shelagh and Peter Burke). Quite rightly she would have nothing to do with our puerile scheme, but she pointed out that her blue Ford van was parked in her yard and she would not look into the rear compartment before driving over to the Annexe that evening, where she would be for an hour or so from 6.00pm. She added that the back of the van was never locked. At 6.30 that evening we removed our trophy from the back of the van and hid it in the Head Prefect's study. Later that evening, when the coast was clear we ventured into the 'Study' and then into the Headmaster's loo (an historic contraption - the very finest model at the time the building was put up, and, like the one in Appleby's bathroom, it was fit for the King). Needless to say we heaved the chain up to the handle of the high level cistern and applied a few basic leverage 'Laws' that we had all learnt from ESD's fascinating physics lessons. We then retired to our beds and patiently waited.
Sure enough, the next morning after chapel, DPB needed to use his 'smallest room'. He was never very observant at the best of times, and in the dullness of this confined space, of course he never gave a second thought to his regular habit of pulling the fine Victorian brass chain with the porcelain bobble at the end. Needless to moment he expected to hear the friendly (but very quiet) sound of rushing water, peace was shattered by the terrifying sound of the QM's anchor chain crashing to the floor which, fortunately, was best-quality Victorian oak. Anything less would not have sustained the impact and the chain might have gone on through to the basement. DPB was both alarmed and not very amused. With the aid of his antiquated phone - the one he had to wind up - he summoned the Hall Porter (I can-not recall his name but he was the one who was always more smartly dressed than any of the staff and who DPB would sometimes ask to show prospective parents around the school). The poor fellow was mortified that DPB had even suspected him of such a deed, and when it became obvious that he was physically incapable of lift- ing the chain off the floor, let alone removing it from the room, DPB realised he had got the wrong man. Help was summoned, and the only boys around at the time were prefects who were supposed to be studying in their studies (but at that hour of the morning, were far more likely to be enjoying their first coffee of the day, which had been kindly donated by Miss Jordan). When his adrenaline had done whatever adrenaline does, his colour had returned to more or less normal, and he had lit up his first 'Woodbine' of the day, DPB was able to enjoy the situation and the mirth of his prefects. His main concern was that Eric Gillet, (a member of the School Council who made a termly visit to check and that all was in order and that the RC Headmaster and the High Anglican Chaplain (NAS) were not doing anything popish) might well have used the small room before being taken off to Semley station in the school barouche by George Dobie.
NJZ
* One of the friends was the then headboy - now a revered member of the school council!